I can't let this holiday pass by without telling the interwebs what I am thankful for.
I am most thankful for my husband. He really is the light of my life and the twinkle in my eye. I love him much more than three.
I'm grateful for all of my family and how much love they are capable of.
I'm thankful for wonderful friends, pets and acquaintances that make holidays like these so much fun to celebrate.
I'm very thankful for my health - especially the mental part of that. I'm thankful that people smarter than me decided to make medications so I can feel sane.
I'm grateful to have a job when the economy is in such a crisis.
I really am blessed. We both have jobs, a house that we can afford, not too much debt, family close by and the emotional (finally!) stability to try and bring a child into our family.
I wish everyone could feel as lucky as I do.
*Click here for the whole clip.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
maybe it's because of her, ahem, assets
This weekend was spent snorgling, kissing, nuzzling, biting and generally eating all the little bits and bobs associated with the baby. Heather was up from Dallas for the express purpose of eating her fill of baby. She wasn’t the only one fulfilling their quota of baby cheeks and ears, though. We passed poor Owen around like a bong at a frat party, each trying to get a hit that would last until the next go-round. And he was pretty accepting of his fate. He saw us coming and did what only a 3 week old baby can do.....he looked as cute as baby-ly possible so that we would be consumed with guilt and only munch one of his ears instead of both.
While not dining on fingers and toes, we had a very full weekend. There were games, car trips, dinners and even some naps. Owen handled them all famously. And when he did become upset, his crying was calmed by none other than Dolly Parton. It worked so well, every time, that we had to wonder if it was just her soothing voice or maybe, instinctively, all babies know what Dolly has to offer.
Owen while listening to Here You Come Again. Just look at the calm! Not even meeping!
While not dining on fingers and toes, we had a very full weekend. There were games, car trips, dinners and even some naps. Owen handled them all famously. And when he did become upset, his crying was calmed by none other than Dolly Parton. It worked so well, every time, that we had to wonder if it was just her soothing voice or maybe, instinctively, all babies know what Dolly has to offer.
Owen while listening to Here You Come Again. Just look at the calm! Not even meeping!
Friday, November 21, 2008
prepare for total domination
Heather's here! And we all know what that means children....prepare for the Scrabble ass-whooping of your life.
Don't doubt her mad skills. She will eat your words for breakfast! Game on!
Don't doubt her mad skills. She will eat your words for breakfast! Game on!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
happy are those who dream
I had a very weird but awesome dream last night.
I was at a swap meet, trying to filter through the crap to find the treasures, when someone's hand shoots out and grabs the EXACT thing I was grabbing for. It was on my lips to shout "Bitch, step off!" when I realized who the hand and arm belonged to. I looked at her and said "Holy shit, you're Dooce." She laughed and I turned to Jason to explain who she was and he wasn’t there. Looked around and there he was, off to one side talking Geek to Jon, Dooce’s husband. She and I laughed because we knew that when two geeky men get together to speak their native language it could be a while. So we went and got pie. And I swear, it was the freaking best pie I've ever had! And she and I talked FOREVER about nothing in particular. It was fun and nice and, dude, now I really really want that pie!
I was at a swap meet, trying to filter through the crap to find the treasures, when someone's hand shoots out and grabs the EXACT thing I was grabbing for. It was on my lips to shout "Bitch, step off!" when I realized who the hand and arm belonged to. I looked at her and said "Holy shit, you're Dooce." She laughed and I turned to Jason to explain who she was and he wasn’t there. Looked around and there he was, off to one side talking Geek to Jon, Dooce’s husband. She and I laughed because we knew that when two geeky men get together to speak their native language it could be a while. So we went and got pie. And I swear, it was the freaking best pie I've ever had! And she and I talked FOREVER about nothing in particular. It was fun and nice and, dude, now I really really want that pie!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
you, me and my medication
I came home screaming F***! at the top of my lungs. I was extremely, extremely annoyed and couldn’t stop breathing fire out my nose long enough to tell Jason what was wrong. I had just stood in line for 45 minutes to buy 2 yards worth of an on-sale fabric, behind a woman who had no idea that the children pulling on her overalls and talking to her a mile a minute where her own offspring. The woman working the register was a least as old as God and couldn’t have worked the register correctly if I had pointed a gun at her head. Which if I had had a gun, I might have considered doing. Next to me stood a couple of Emus (our word for all "emotionals") trying to suck the other’s face off while the male Emu pretended that his skinny jeans were not creeping lower and lower down his arse. More than once I was on the verge of screaming “Hurry the F*** Up!” and “Pull up your stupid-ass pants! You look like an idiot!” But I restrained myself. Mainly because I was afraid they would kick me out of the store before I could purchase my $6.95 worth of stuff.
I got home and was still fuming. I banged through the door, still screaming obscenities, while the cat ran for cover and Jason looked at me like he was wondering who he needed to shoot. I ranted for a few more minutes, told him about the Amassed Display of Stupidity at the store and about my Complete Restraint in not telling them exactly what I thought of their skinny jeans and Methuselah employees.
By the time I had set all my stuff down, shown the Most Wonderful Man in the World what I had purchased at the expense of 45 minutes of my life and coaxed the cat out from under our bed, I was fine. The medicine I had taken on the way home from the store had kicked in and I was so calm it was spooky. But that’s how it is around our house right now. I either feel too much of everything, or absolutely nothing. And I’m still not sure which is the better of the two.
I am so grateful that I found a man that loves me so much that he is willing to put up with me screaming "What the F*** kind of hillbilly place do we live in?" when coming through the door.
I got home and was still fuming. I banged through the door, still screaming obscenities, while the cat ran for cover and Jason looked at me like he was wondering who he needed to shoot. I ranted for a few more minutes, told him about the Amassed Display of Stupidity at the store and about my Complete Restraint in not telling them exactly what I thought of their skinny jeans and Methuselah employees.
By the time I had set all my stuff down, shown the Most Wonderful Man in the World what I had purchased at the expense of 45 minutes of my life and coaxed the cat out from under our bed, I was fine. The medicine I had taken on the way home from the store had kicked in and I was so calm it was spooky. But that’s how it is around our house right now. I either feel too much of everything, or absolutely nothing. And I’m still not sure which is the better of the two.
I am so grateful that I found a man that loves me so much that he is willing to put up with me screaming "What the F*** kind of hillbilly place do we live in?" when coming through the door.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
apropos of the husband
I'm writing this post because I woke up at 6-freakin'-30 AM with the hiccups. Who wakes up with hiccups? Especially when Saturday is the day for sleeping in. So on with the nothings.
I love my husband. He is exactly what I would have ordered could I have placed an order with Sears & Roebuck, Co. But instead of a leg lamp in a box marked fra-gee-lay, I got something better.
I knew I could spend the rest of my life with him when, on the trip to meet my parents, we spent 10 hours together in the car, 3 straight days together, then another 10 hours back and I still hadn't had enough. I get sick and tired of EVERYONE....except him.
I really lucked out when I found him. Or he found me. Or we found each other. Whichever it was.
And last night in bed, after I had taken my meds and was starting to tell him how soft his hair was, like the fuzz on the belly of our cat, I knew I'd found the ONLY person for me.
"How long ago did you take your pill?"
All I could do was smile at his sweet face and whisper, "So soft."
Laughing outright: "Apparently long enough."
I love my husband. He is exactly what I would have ordered could I have placed an order with Sears & Roebuck, Co. But instead of a leg lamp in a box marked fra-gee-lay, I got something better.
I knew I could spend the rest of my life with him when, on the trip to meet my parents, we spent 10 hours together in the car, 3 straight days together, then another 10 hours back and I still hadn't had enough. I get sick and tired of EVERYONE....except him.
I really lucked out when I found him. Or he found me. Or we found each other. Whichever it was.
And last night in bed, after I had taken my meds and was starting to tell him how soft his hair was, like the fuzz on the belly of our cat, I knew I'd found the ONLY person for me.
"How long ago did you take your pill?"
All I could do was smile at his sweet face and whisper, "So soft."
Laughing outright: "Apparently long enough."
Friday, November 14, 2008
re: the last post
My mother emailed me after she read my last post. She was a little worried because she said it sounded like a eulogy. I assured her it was not. I was just informing the internet of the things I had learned at her knee.
She also wanted me to know that she definitely does not remember telling me to "melt my husbands face off with my eyebrows" when we're fighting. I assured her that was for comedic effect and that next time I would stick to funny "Mom stories" (as we called them in our house).
Like the time she wasn't quite paying attention to a conversation and someone used the phrase "cheese with his whine." She quickly turned around, appalled, wanting to know if the supervisor knew that someone was drinking on the job.
That's my mom and I love her. But just remember - I can make fun of her. If you do, I will melt your face off with my eyebrows of displeasure!
She also wanted me to know that she definitely does not remember telling me to "melt my husbands face off with my eyebrows" when we're fighting. I assured her that was for comedic effect and that next time I would stick to funny "Mom stories" (as we called them in our house).
Like the time she wasn't quite paying attention to a conversation and someone used the phrase "cheese with his whine." She quickly turned around, appalled, wanting to know if the supervisor knew that someone was drinking on the job.
That's my mom and I love her. But just remember - I can make fun of her. If you do, I will melt your face off with my eyebrows of displeasure!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
passed down from mother to child
I was standing in front of the freezer, getting myself a giant microwavable frozen pretzel, praising myself for my forethought on putting pieces of saran wrap in between each pretzel so that they don’t stick together, when I realized something. That’s not my trick. That’s my mother’s! She did that for everything she froze. You say you have extra flour tortillas that you want to freeze?? Stick some plastic wrap in between each and you won’t have to break them apart once they become solid inch-thick frisbees! And that’s not all folks! She has taught me many tricks over the years:
- You should always wear a new pair of shoes around the house before you spend a whole day at work suffering from the pinched little toe syndrome.
- Never flush a tampon down the toilet because you’re just asking for trouble. (Even if the box says you can!).
- Change out of your bathing suit when you’re done in the water because that’s just a yeast infection waiting to happen.
- Take the time to be together because once you have kids, it’s not jsut the two of you for another 20 years.
- Always take your makeup off before bed, because no matter how tired you are, your skin will thank you. And do you really want to deal with the mess it’ll make on your pillowcase?
- Take time to be a kid. You have the rest of your life to work. Don’t be so anxious to grow up. (Man, don’t I wish I’d listened to that one a little more carefully.)
- Remember your neck when you apply moisturizer - our family women are prone to turkey neck.
- Don’t lie. Some where, some time, someone will find out and you’ll regret it.
- Snakes are evil, slithering creatures that should be avoided, and if seen, you should jump up and down on it until it stops moving. Or shot it. But under no circumstances should it EVER be allowed in the house.
- Sometimes store-bought is better than homemade. Sometimes.
- Hold hands with your husband. It’s the little things that keep the magic alive.
- Painted toe nails can make any feet look cute.
- Try to tell your husband everyday how much he means to you. Even if you’re so mad at him right then you could sear the flesh from his face with a raise of your eyebrow.
- Never be afraid to ask for help.
These are just some of the many, many things that I’ve learned from my mother. But the most important thing I have learned, and that I’m just starting to realize is the most important one, is that I will be incredibly lucky if I grow up to be just like her.
- You should always wear a new pair of shoes around the house before you spend a whole day at work suffering from the pinched little toe syndrome.
- Never flush a tampon down the toilet because you’re just asking for trouble. (Even if the box says you can!).
- Change out of your bathing suit when you’re done in the water because that’s just a yeast infection waiting to happen.
- Take the time to be together because once you have kids, it’s not jsut the two of you for another 20 years.
- Always take your makeup off before bed, because no matter how tired you are, your skin will thank you. And do you really want to deal with the mess it’ll make on your pillowcase?
- Take time to be a kid. You have the rest of your life to work. Don’t be so anxious to grow up. (Man, don’t I wish I’d listened to that one a little more carefully.)
- Remember your neck when you apply moisturizer - our family women are prone to turkey neck.
- Don’t lie. Some where, some time, someone will find out and you’ll regret it.
- Snakes are evil, slithering creatures that should be avoided, and if seen, you should jump up and down on it until it stops moving. Or shot it. But under no circumstances should it EVER be allowed in the house.
- Sometimes store-bought is better than homemade. Sometimes.
- Hold hands with your husband. It’s the little things that keep the magic alive.
- Painted toe nails can make any feet look cute.
- Try to tell your husband everyday how much he means to you. Even if you’re so mad at him right then you could sear the flesh from his face with a raise of your eyebrow.
- Never be afraid to ask for help.
These are just some of the many, many things that I’ve learned from my mother. But the most important thing I have learned, and that I’m just starting to realize is the most important one, is that I will be incredibly lucky if I grow up to be just like her.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
realizing
That when you're depressed, every day seems like the longest day of your life. Especially when you're at work and not curled up at home on the couch with a book and the cat.
why i love you
You don't just read my mind. You take the exact freakin' words out of my mouth before I can say them!
apropos of nothing
I have a resounding love for mail that bears my name and includes presents and/or well wishes. The Gas Company should think about that.
Friday, November 7, 2008
not enough kitty treats
Today is the day we take MY CAT to be groomed. He's mellow but opinionated. Wish us luck.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
why i'm not allowed to play with scissors anymore
Boredom and depression are not good moods for me to have together. Things happen when I’m bored and depressed - things that would otherwise have never have been imaginable. But the combination of these two states might possibly be what finally brings about the demise of the Space Time Continuum.
As a child, my mother never had to worry about me and scissors. I knew they were for cutting designated paper products and not for other things like carpet, furniture or hair. Well, my hair anyway. I had no qualms about chopping off Barbie’s luscious locks in favor of a much more stylish mohawk. But I never had the urge to play barbershop with my own hair. Unlike my brother, who at age 6, clipped out a nice fat triangle right in the middle of his bangs. (Yeah, bangs, I know. But it was the 70s. Everyone had a bowl cut back then.) I knew back then that I should leave the cutting of MY hair to professionals. Or at least people who were over the age of 5.
One night last weekend I was bored. I was still upset by having lost the battle with my husband about adopting MY CAT (that situation was later remedied) and I thought a shower might do the trick.
I love showers! The hot water, the steam, the SMELL of clean. It gets me every time. Once the lovely shower had ended I started on my normal routine of trying to slather my entire body in lotion whilst balancing a towel turban of wet hair on top of my head. During the Dance of the Lotioning an idea popped into my head. I needed bangs! Right now! I needed them like I needed oxygen. I couldn’t possibly wait another minute to realize my dream of the bangs that were pictured in my head. The lotion and the towel forgotten, standing naked in the bathroom, I grabbed some nail scissors, wiped the steam off the mirror and started snipping. I didn’t even bother to measure or comb. I knew in my heart of hearts that what I was doing would give me the most beautiful hair in the WORLD!
Once the bulk of the cutting was done I pulled out the blow dryer so I could see my masterpiece in it’s full glory.
And oh, the horror. In the process of trying to give myself lovely side swept bangs that flowed seamlessly into face framing layers, I had somehow missed the mark. It looked like I had bangs that wound all around my head. It was the beginnings of a Kentucky Waterfall; of Business in the Front, Party in the Back; of a rednecked MULLET! I threw the scissors in a drawer, walked out of the bathroom and informed my husband I wasn’t allowed to play with scissors anymore.
Then I called my stylist. She deserves a medal because she didn’t even hesitate or laugh. She just fixed it. And gave me a bright new shiny color to go with it.
As a child, my mother never had to worry about me and scissors. I knew they were for cutting designated paper products and not for other things like carpet, furniture or hair. Well, my hair anyway. I had no qualms about chopping off Barbie’s luscious locks in favor of a much more stylish mohawk. But I never had the urge to play barbershop with my own hair. Unlike my brother, who at age 6, clipped out a nice fat triangle right in the middle of his bangs. (Yeah, bangs, I know. But it was the 70s. Everyone had a bowl cut back then.) I knew back then that I should leave the cutting of MY hair to professionals. Or at least people who were over the age of 5.
One night last weekend I was bored. I was still upset by having lost the battle with my husband about adopting MY CAT (that situation was later remedied) and I thought a shower might do the trick.
I love showers! The hot water, the steam, the SMELL of clean. It gets me every time. Once the lovely shower had ended I started on my normal routine of trying to slather my entire body in lotion whilst balancing a towel turban of wet hair on top of my head. During the Dance of the Lotioning an idea popped into my head. I needed bangs! Right now! I needed them like I needed oxygen. I couldn’t possibly wait another minute to realize my dream of the bangs that were pictured in my head. The lotion and the towel forgotten, standing naked in the bathroom, I grabbed some nail scissors, wiped the steam off the mirror and started snipping. I didn’t even bother to measure or comb. I knew in my heart of hearts that what I was doing would give me the most beautiful hair in the WORLD!
Once the bulk of the cutting was done I pulled out the blow dryer so I could see my masterpiece in it’s full glory.
And oh, the horror. In the process of trying to give myself lovely side swept bangs that flowed seamlessly into face framing layers, I had somehow missed the mark. It looked like I had bangs that wound all around my head. It was the beginnings of a Kentucky Waterfall; of Business in the Front, Party in the Back; of a rednecked MULLET! I threw the scissors in a drawer, walked out of the bathroom and informed my husband I wasn’t allowed to play with scissors anymore.
Then I called my stylist. She deserves a medal because she didn’t even hesitate or laugh. She just fixed it. And gave me a bright new shiny color to go with it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
maybe alanis will add a verse for me
Oh the irony! - that I started my period like 5 minutes before we went to purchase baby insurance. Mother Nature's little way of reminding me that we can't start all the fun stuff for 2 more months (to make sure the insurance kicks in).
because
Because you knew, that I knew, it wasn't the answer. Because you knew, that I knew, it wasn't going to fix me. Because you still wanted me to be happy. Because you love me and would do anything to help me feel better.
And because he's just the f***ing coolest cat ever!
I love you, Jason.
the one where i use the words "squishy", "baby" and "mustard" all in the same sentence
Introducing, the newest addition to our family, our nephew Owen! I told his Mama that she needs to get to feeding him because his cheeks just aren't up to my eating standards yet. Look at them! They're hardly a snack! I like my baby cheeks chubby, squishy and with mustard. The same goes for the legs.
He may just be the cutest thing this side of the Grand Canyon.
And this is what he said when I told him I was going to post him on the Interwebs.
Monday, November 3, 2008
the face behind the cage
Sunday was bad. The kind of bad that makes you want to throw the plates out the window and burn down the house just for good measure. The kind of day that makes even the thought of tomorrow unbearable.
It started because of a cat. I know, a silly reason to have a bad day but I can’t help that it’s silly. When you’re depressed, it doesn’t matter the reasons.
Saturday we went out to lunch followed by a trip to the pet store to look at the bunnies. The pet stores always have bunnies, and when you love bunnies like I do, you want to see as many of them as you can all in one place - even when you already have a snuggly one waiting for you at home. So off to the pet store we went. But it wasn’t the bunnies that had my full and undivided attention. It was a cat. A cat! For hell’s bells! I am not normally a cat person but this one had me captivated. He instantly mushed his face against the cage so I could squeeze my fingers in to pet him - and I was in LOVE. Total and complete love. I wanted to rip open those wire bars with my bare hands like the Hulk in a frenzy so I could rescue this adorable and patient bag of fur! If there hadn’t been children present I probably would have tried to pick the lock to free the cutest cat I’d ever seen.
But as it is, we don’t need a cat.
So my husband very gently took me by the hand and led me away from the mushed face still pressed against the cage. I started to get angry. Couldn’t he see that this cat wanted me? That he needed me to take him home and love him and feed him treats while he languished on a cushion made of silk? What was Jason thinking? This cat made me happy! Dammit, I couldn’t possibly be happy EVER AGAIN without this adorable creature splayed out over my lap every second of every day!
The next day I was still thinking about my cat. MY CAT. All caps are needed. The thought that he couldn’t come home with us left me inconsolable. Quite literally. I cried for 3 hours, took a nap, and cried some more. Jason just held me and then announced, that if I REALLY needed him, we could go get the cat. That stopped me in my tracks. I had been all ready to accept but I hesitated. Did I really want the cat? Or did I believe the cat could fix me? Did I think the answer to my depression was wrapped up in a white and orange ball of fur?
Yes. I did. I had to admit that I thought the cat could fix what’s wrong with me. And I know that it wouldn’t.
So then I cried some more.
It started because of a cat. I know, a silly reason to have a bad day but I can’t help that it’s silly. When you’re depressed, it doesn’t matter the reasons.
Saturday we went out to lunch followed by a trip to the pet store to look at the bunnies. The pet stores always have bunnies, and when you love bunnies like I do, you want to see as many of them as you can all in one place - even when you already have a snuggly one waiting for you at home. So off to the pet store we went. But it wasn’t the bunnies that had my full and undivided attention. It was a cat. A cat! For hell’s bells! I am not normally a cat person but this one had me captivated. He instantly mushed his face against the cage so I could squeeze my fingers in to pet him - and I was in LOVE. Total and complete love. I wanted to rip open those wire bars with my bare hands like the Hulk in a frenzy so I could rescue this adorable and patient bag of fur! If there hadn’t been children present I probably would have tried to pick the lock to free the cutest cat I’d ever seen.
But as it is, we don’t need a cat.
So my husband very gently took me by the hand and led me away from the mushed face still pressed against the cage. I started to get angry. Couldn’t he see that this cat wanted me? That he needed me to take him home and love him and feed him treats while he languished on a cushion made of silk? What was Jason thinking? This cat made me happy! Dammit, I couldn’t possibly be happy EVER AGAIN without this adorable creature splayed out over my lap every second of every day!
The next day I was still thinking about my cat. MY CAT. All caps are needed. The thought that he couldn’t come home with us left me inconsolable. Quite literally. I cried for 3 hours, took a nap, and cried some more. Jason just held me and then announced, that if I REALLY needed him, we could go get the cat. That stopped me in my tracks. I had been all ready to accept but I hesitated. Did I really want the cat? Or did I believe the cat could fix me? Did I think the answer to my depression was wrapped up in a white and orange ball of fur?
Yes. I did. I had to admit that I thought the cat could fix what’s wrong with me. And I know that it wouldn’t.
So then I cried some more.
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