Over the past few months I've read numerous blog posts about trying to connect with a child who is different than you. But what if your child is exactly like you?
What do you do when their behavior mirrors your own? How do you cope when your weaknesses are theirs? How do you parent when you are so alike that you easily get under each other's skin?
I've written on here before about how Penny and I butt heads. We even went to therapy for 8 months, trying to figure out why we fight for power in any given situation. The grapple for control between us just makes me crazy.
The problem is I in her the things I struggled with at that age. Talking too much and getting in trouble at school; having a hard time making and keeping friends; feeling things so deeply that each set back feels like the end of the world. I understand how deeply she can hurt but I have no control over it. I can only tell her I understand and see the disbelief in her face.
Being so much alike can be easier on some levels because I can almost anticipate her reaction to things. But it's also as frustrating as hell because she handles things the way I do, forcing me to see how I react to the world.
Maybe that's what makes the situation so difficult. I see in her things I want to change in myself. And maybe that's the solution. I need to rethink how I react so that she can see my behavior and maybe follow my example. It's worth a try.
Because if I don't start trying something different, we will forever be two immovable objects caught in a never-ending fight for control.
