I found this picture on Facebook awhile back and decided to save it because of how honestly it lays out the way an introvert thinks. I am an introvert. If you knew me in high school and are thinking "No, you're wrong, you're totally an extrovert", let me tell you now - I was faking it. All those years of joining the pep squad and attending football games with a crowd of people and being wildly obnoxious at dances - totally and completely faking it.
School can be cruel to introverts as I found out in middle school so I became more of what the crowd was by the time I got to high school. It wasn't easy and I'm not going to say it was worth it, but I managed.
Now I'm almost 34 years old and have decided to be who I am. It's not always easy, especially when who I am is a bipolar mother of two with social anxiety issues. As the years pass (and the medications keep me stable) I've come to find I like being an introvert. But there are some instances where I still feel I could do better. As I said, socializing isn't my strong suit.
A dear friend and I were talking the other day about how we still don't feel like the cool kids in our main social group, which is church. I still feel the need to introduce myself to everyone I've already met because I fear they don't remember me. And it doesn't seem to matter how high my self-esteem may be, I tend to feel insecure around those I consider "cooler." But everyone needs friends, especially when you're a stay at home mom with only kids to talk to. Having someone you can commiserate with and not have to explain how lonely being home with just your babies can be is invaluable.
A few months back I read a blog post (here) about how hard and easy it can be to make new friends. Hard in that it's like dating, trying to find the right fit of personalities. Easy in how you can put yourself out there. The post told how the lady took a cue from her children and how when they play, they just ask if they can be friends with the new kids. So that's what she did. She would walk up to someone she wanted to get to know and say something like "Hey, I think you're pretty cool. Want to be friends?"
Just like that.
And both times she tried it, the other person felt extremely flattered and they ended up getting to know each other better. This is something I want to do more of; being able to make a new friend just like that. I want to be able to put aside the social anxiety and stretch my comfort zone until it bursts. I don't want being an introvert to hold me back. Before I would walk into a room and wonder if anyone would like me. Instead I want to look around and wonder who I'm going to like.
It'll take some time and some practice but I've got all the time in the world if it means making new friends.
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