You have to remember that back then my mental illness was still undiagnosed. All I knew was that I couldn't stop crying when we almost missed our flight. I held back tears on public transportation from all the strangers touching me. And I definitely couldn't handle the mass of bodies bumping me as we made our way through hotel casinos. The flood of noise and smoke and people was just too much for my anxiety levels. This perfect storm culminated with me sobbing uncontrollably at a table of one of the nicest and trendiest restaurants I've ever been in. Don't ask me the name - I was too far gone by then to commit it to memory. Jason got me back to the hotel room by taxi (no more buses that trip) where we ordered room service and watched Food Network.
I had never been so miserable and I felt even worse for having ruined Jason's surprise. He felt just as bad for not knowing how to help me.
Flash forward 8.5 years and I still feel pretty guilty at causing such a scene. Embarrassment doesn't even begin to cover it. Yes, I could blame it all on the depression and general anxiety and not being medicated. But truly, I wish with every fiber of me that I could have held it together so Jason could have enjoyed himself.
So for this upcoming anniversary (9 years in September) I decided to make it up to him.
Jason has been a huge Weird Al fan his whole life. And when we saw that his tour, Mandatory Fun, wasn't coming to Phoenix he was extremely disappointed. He shrugged it off, saying we probably couldn't afford it anyway, etc, but I could tell how much he wanted to go. So for Valentine's Day I decided to make it happen.
The closest tour stop to us is Laughlin, NV on September 18th, so I grabbed up tickets, found a hotel and even lined up a babysitter. Laughlin might not be as glitzy as Vegas but I thought we'd do a trial run for our 9th and maybe try Vegas again, in all it's glory, for our 10th.
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