alternatives to food

Every day, all day long, I find myself faced with alternatives. Salt and Vinegar or Cheddar Sour Cream? Funyuns or Ruffles? Pancakes or waffles? Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper? Italian or Chinese?

Yes, of course, I realize that all of these decisions are based on food. Do you really think a 4 1/2 months pregnant woman thinks about anything else? Let me pop that bubble of disillusion you are living in. Yes, I'm ecstatic that I'm having a baby. Yes, I think about the unborn child constantly. Yes, I can't wait to hold that child in my arms for the first time. But the driving force behind every thought of every day is - What should I eat? This question is followed closely by - How long will it take for said food to get into my greedy little hands?

That's it. Quite simple. I'm sure every pregnant women in the world would agree with me. Questions of food are not to be taken lightly. The ones who are no longer pregnant and are caring for their children instead have no remembrance of what I'm talking about. Instead, childbirth has erased the memories of the clawing, gnawing desire for powdered donuts that is a constant part of their lives. It has been replaced with chubby, squishable, delicious thighs and baby cheeks. They're right up there with Funyuns, I'm sure.

But over the last few days a new alternative has been filling my mind. The hunger is still there but now it's joined with a new thought - Boy or Girl?

I find out next week the sex of our baby. I am using every ounce of willpower I possess NOT to obsess constantly about what it will be. Or to get my hopes up for the choice I would prefer. I know every woman says she will be happy regardless of the outcome but deep down, it the way-back secret places, they hope for something specific. The child they've dreamed of having since they were six, playing house with their Barbies and their brother's action figures.

Those who know me best know what I'm hoping for. I won't write it here though. Heaven forbid, years from now, my child reads this post and thinks for a second I didn't want them. Because that would be the biggest lie in the world. Right up there with "skinny jeans look good on everyone."