i don't believe a rose would be as nice if it was called a thistle or a skunk cabbage...

I know it and you know it, but I still have to say it. I’ve been so lazy lately. That’s the only excuse I have. Pure and simple laziness. I’d like to tell you I’ve been busy touring Rome or learning to make bouillabaisse but no - just been too lazy to post anything on here. And I’m going to go ahead and blame the baby for this laziness. Child isn’t even born yet and she already saps all my energy.

All I want to do is lay on the couch, watch Top Chef and eat potato chips in mass qualities. Which I can’t even do right now because I recently found out I have gestational diabetes. No more stuffing of the face with carbs. (Oh the lovely carbs!)

That’s right, throw another log on the raging inferno that’s been my pregnancy: morning sickness for 6 months, allergies exploding all over my face, a bacterial stomach infection that forced me to live on the toilet for 10 days and ended in an eventual trip to the ER. (Yeah, remind me to tell you how much fun that was sometime.)

And now diabetes.

I swear, there must be some kind of memory loss associated with pregnancy otherwise all women would remember how hard the “being pregnant” part was and never want to do it again. Ever. And I’ll freely admit I was one of those snobbishly superior non-pregnant women who thought pregnancy would be a breeze and all the real pain would start at childbirth.

Ha.

Ha ha aha ha.

Remind me again who that woman was when *Thumper’s foot has been lodged in my kidney for 6 hours straight. Oh the agony! Oh the inability to sit, stand or lie down! Is it a 900lb moose rampaging across my rib cage? Nope. Just a baby the size of our bunny reminding me I’m not the center of the universe. I still wonder why the mother’s of the world don’t go around slapping the rest of us upside the head while screaming “Just you wait! It WILL happen to you!”

But even all of these physical ailments can’t compare to the mental agony of choosing a name for our child. And it’s definitely not a shared agony. I’m the one agonizing over it. Jason says he’s fine with whatever I chose as long as I don’t name her Shanaynay. And I'd be fine with that but for one thing. I remember being a child of the 80s and being EXTREMELY grateful that my parents hadn’t named me Jennifer or Jessica. Everyone remembers that ONE name from school that every child seemed to have, leaving the roll call to be filled with initials -

Mike C....... Here.
Mike W
Jessica R
Jessica M
Jen
Jenny
Jennifer

On and on it went. And although I know that every girl, at some point in her life, wishes her parents had seen fit to name her something else, like Shanaynay, I don’t want her to be the “Jenny” in her class.

So I agonize, make lists and pour over name websites. I even have the Social Security Administration name page bookmarked. If you haven’t seen it, you really should check it out.

I will probably still be agonizing over it in 10 weeks when they lay my baby girl on my chest and want me to fill out the birth certificate. If all else fails, Shanaynay Hunter has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?


*This might end up being her name if I can't come up with anything else!

dance like a dervish

For the past two weeks, ever since the ultrasound, I've been able to feel the baby moving. Mainly it feels like a tap dancer on speed. Constant motion, nonstop, followed by brief pauses - presumably so she can catch her breath - and then she's off again. But until last night, she hadn't been moving hard enough for Jason to feel her. He had to be content with my descriptions of our little speed-freak's dance technique.

Then last night, I was minding my own business, hand resting nonchalantly on my belly when SWEET FANCY KNICKERS! What was that? Was that a muscle spasming enough to make my whole lower belly quake?

Nope. That's my girl saying "Woman, get me a sammich!"

What? What did you think she would be saying at this point?

As soon as I could, I had Jason sitting there with both hands spread across my stomach. Then I told him to mention sammiches. That did the trick. The look on his face - eyes widened in wonder as he played tag with his baby girl - has become something I hope to remember forever.

an extended holiday

Today is my last day of work for as much as six weeks. No, I didn't have the baby. But I will blame my pregnant hormones and tender heart on the fact that I won't be receiving a paycheck for a month and a half.

Back in February, when I learned I was pregnant, I decided I didn't want to go back to work once the baby was born. Not a big deal. Women do that all the time. But most women don't work in an industry where it can take your boss up to four months to find a replacement. Yep, that's how long it will take to find someone to fill my shoes. Compliment to myself intended. Because of the company's extensive background checking and necessary polygraphing, delays in hiring are standard. And that's after they've found someone who wants the job.

So being the kind and considerate person that I am, I informed my boss I wouldn't be coming back and asked that they begin the search for my replacement right away. Myself and another secretary have already been doing the work of three. I didn't want to leave her in the lurch. But things are never that simple. Turns out I would have to quit my full time status for them to post a job opening for my full time status job. Wracking my brain and lamenting to Jason, we came up with a solution. For them to start finding someone, I just can't be a full time employee. So how about I become a part time employee. I would lose the benefits but I didn't use those anyway.

Solution found.

Then I found out what would be involved in becoming a part time employee. Not as simple a procedure as it sounds. I have to quit, wait two pay periods (read: one month), and then personnel can begin the paperwork to make me a part time worker bee (read: another few weeks).

GAAAAH! Oh, the bureaucracy!

So now I'm out of work for a time and my co-worker, the one I was trying to save from being overloaded with work in the first place, will still be overloaded. But only for 6 weeks. Instead of 4 months. I guess that's a fair enough trade off.

drumroll please....

It's a GIRL!



Or possibly an alien. Right now it's still hard to tell. I'm sure when she's born that face will be much cuter.



That right there is girl parts. I took their word for it. All I can tell is that the boy parts aren't there so that must mean it's a girl.



This is her vogue-ing for the camera. I wish the profile wasn't so blurry but let me tell you, she has the sweetest nose I've ever seen.



And this is her foot. All 10 fingers and all 10 toes were accounted for. Though already I just want to munch on this little bitty foot.

We couldn't be more thrilled to welcome a little baby girl into this family. I'm already anticipating all the fun that will come with dressing her in frills then teaching her to fish.

crossed off

I love lists. Any kind will do. I feel a real sense of accomplishment when I can cross something off a list - even if it's just a mental to do. I'm a planner. And an anal retentive organizer. I have a pressing internal need to be prepared for everything. So when I say I haven't bought a single thing in preparation for the baby, I want you to understand how hard that has been for me. I've looked, window shopped and "wish listed" online - but have yet to purchase even a single onesie.

Then Memorial Day came with all its wonderful super-sized bargains and I couldn't resist. I made a big purchase and bought something I've been dreaming about since I got married and knew we'd have kids someday.

Behold - THE CHAIR:



It rocks, it swivels, it reclines. It's oh so soft and squishy. And it was 50% off. 50% OFF!
I don't think I can emphasize that feature enough. I can't wait until the little one can enjoy it with me. Because Life with Baby just got a little comfier.