this stage of life

Let me make something clear. This is not a cry for help or meant to be a woe-is-me post. More of just an observation two people had about their lives.

Today I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine. The subject was on making new friends. And not just any new friends, but close friends. She lives in Arizona, in a new house, with a new church family, new everything. She made the observation that by our stage of life, most people (especially women) have already found their close friends. Their tribe. Their support through the good and bad and mundane. 

This can make it hard to interweave yourself into that established group when everyone already knows their parts. 

Now don't misunderstand. I have some very close friends. Who happen to live not so close. One's in Phoenix, one in Canada and one, though in Utah, is 40 minutes away. These three amazing women have been my friends for an average of 15 years. I don't get to see these awesome ladies nearly as much as I wish. We text or Facebook and sometimes write letters. But it's definitely not the same as having them in your house. 

And there's the rub. I've known these women for YEARS. Am I past the stage where finding new life-long friends is over?

That's where I hit a snag. 

We've been in Utah almost two years and in our new house a year and a half. And I still haven't made any very close friends. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm home all day and making new friends is hard when you almost never leave the house. However, I have been making a concerted effort. I've joined two book clubs and have attended most church activities. 

But it still feels more like Facebook "friends" or acquaintances than bosom friends, as Anne Shirley would say. And Facebook makes it really easy to keep people as acquaintances. 

Am I past the age where making fast friends was fast and easy? I know that I'm must more introverted than I was 20 years ago. That's just a fact. And I'm sure my crippling social anxiety also plays its part. But there has to be an easier way of doing this. Am I making it too complicated?

If you're in the same boat, I'd love to know. I know we can't be the only ones who feel like this.