I love cupcakes. Wait. Love isn't a strong enough word for how I feel about cupcakes. Even my Thesaurus fails to come up with an appropriate word for my feelings. I'm smitten, twitterpated, attached to, enamored of, and completely devoted to these cups of cake.
And how could I not be? I will argue that they are the perfect food. They're hand sized, portable, most will fit cleanly into my mouth (stop with the dirty thoughts!) and there seems to be an infinite variety of them out there. Plus they seem immune to the frosting/cake ratio conundrum that goes with regular cakes.
And I love them. Nothing makes my day more fulfilling than when a cupcake is waiting for me.
This is me with them:
And without:
They can be fancy. They can be cute. And everybody loves them. Have you ever been to a party with cupcakes and been like, oh man, this party sucks because they have individual cakes in portable little wrappers? NO. You're like jumping up and down, screaming at the people coming in the door behind you LOOK! THEY HAVE CUPCAKES! THIS PARTY ROCKS!
They're appropriate for every single holiday I can think of and every special event. What Groundhog Day isn't spiced up with a little hand-held themed goodness?
We even had them as our wedding cake. That's right, that's a TOWER of cupcakes.
I bring up the topic of cupcakes and their deliciousness for one reason. I'm addicted to them. Utterly and completely. And it's all the fault of a local bakery that makes the BEST cupcakes I've ever had. They're ruining all my attempts at dieting. There is just no healthy alternative to a sweet, tasty cupcake. So I wanted to see if anyone knows of a Cupcakes Anonymous meeting around here I can attend. Because I honestly don't think there's a cure for my cupcake fever.
(And don't even get me started on muffins. They're not fooling anyone. Slap some frosting on it and call it what it really is!)
All of my parents' grandkids have learned to say 'Papa' (their term for grandpa) first. Lately, Penny has been making more noises that sound like real words. The first few times we heard this, it sounded like 'mama'. But this time it sounded distinctly different.That's right Mom, she said 'Nana' first.
I created a new layout as you may have noticed. It all comes from fiddling with things I don't really know how to use and not saving the old design. So this is how it will look for now. I say for now because it could be temporary.
Or forever.
I haven't decided. But for now I like it.
If you don't, I'd love to hear suggestions on how you'll design it for me instead.
Dear Sweet Potato,
You are growing so fast that sometimes I can't believe that only a few short months ago you were still in my tummy. You are such a delight and a joy to me on the days when I'm feeling down. It doesn't matter what room of the house I'm in, you'll crawl until you find me. It brightens my heart every time. Exploring the house has become your new favorite pastime. Besides trying to eat Wash.
About the cat. You two are so funny to watch. You chase him. He tries to ignore you. He acts like he dislikes you but will, incomprehensibly, meow and gain your attention. Something shiny will catch your eye and you'll veer off the direct course you were taking towards the cat. He will notice this, seem to think about it, then meow loudly. You then forget about the shiny object and will redirect yourself towards him. It's like watching two boxers circle each other in the ring.
Because of you I was able to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time this year. You and Daddy made it so special for me. I even got macaroni art out of it. That's my favorite kind of art. Daddy was kind enough to label everything for me. You drew the cat, our house, a tree and even an outline of your hand. I love it and keep it on the fridge.
You've begun getting two of your top teeth in. But not the middle two. Oh no. You're getting one middle one and the one on the other side of it. Like a tooth with a sidecar. When Daddy and I first saw it we though "Oh no, please don't let those be her middle two teeth! She'll look like Sloth!" Yes, we called you Sloth from Goonies. But you have to remember we did it with love. Like when we called you Gollum for the first month of your life.
Those new teeth have been put to good use since you're now eating 2 solid food meals a day. Ok, I don't really mean solid. I mean gelatinously paste-y. You love everything I've fed you so far - pears, apples, carrots, peas, sweet potatoes. Everything disappears the second it hits your tongue. Then reappears magically once you stick your whole fist in your mouth.
But the biggest milestones you've hit this month are sitting up and saying words we understand. The other day I went to get you after a nap and there you were, sitting up all by yourself in your crib. You were so nonchalant about it too. You had a look that said "Hey, what's the big deal. Doesn't everyone know how to sit up?" Besides your superpower of sitting up, you've finally begun listening to me when I say "Mama" and "Dada". Except you only say Dada. Over and over and over again. I wish I could have captured it on video but here's the breakdown. I say mumumumum, you say dadadadada, I say mumumumum, you look at me like I'm crazy and scream dadadadada as loud as you can. It's wonderful.
You are wonderful. I am constantly being told by complete strangers what a beautiful, sweet, well-behaved baby you are. And if they could only see you for longer than 30 seconds, they'd know how right they are.
Love, Mama
Have you ever felt like you're running really fast just to stay in the same place? And that you'd have to run twice as fast just to get where you want to go? I feel like that a lot lately. Like I'm moving and moving and moving and not getting anywhere. I want to be different. I want to be better. I want, I want, I want. I want a lot.
I just don't know what I need.
I keep looking for something to fill the space. Nothing quite does it. I feel like I should be doing more. But more of what? Do I just need to get acclimated to my new role - the role of the one who stays at home? I'm so used to always having something to do that when there's nothing I feel...useless. Futile.
I didn't mean for this to be a woe-is-me post. But these things have been on my mind constantly lately. Besides taking care of the baby and housework, I don't feel like I contribute, that I don't earn my keep. There are so many things I want to do but I don't know how.
I want to sew. I haven't sewn anything besides hems in 19 years. And I don't have a sewing machine. I want to learn to crochet. I want to finish a scrapbook I started 10 years ago. I want to make something, do something, contribute something. I don't even know where to start.
I guess that's just what I wanted to say - I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. But that doesn't matter because I don't even know where to start. I'm just stuck in place.
