I'm upset this afternoon. Irritated really and fed up with the littlest things. "Little" meaning Penny. And she's not doing anything that she doesn't normally do but right now I have no patience for it. The most irritating thing is I was fine this morning. And now I'm biting off each word, hating the bitter aftertaste that it leaves behind. I'm irrational beyond reason. Actually, reason has little to do with how I'm feeling. I'm mad at my irrationality and cycling into that time when time has no movement; where five minutes takes an hour and nothing will ever reach a conclusion. I wonder if I'm beginning a manic episode or if it's all just crankiness from lack of sleep. Being bipolar, one night of missed sleep can be the trigger that fires me into an incident. And the last thing we need right now is me clingy and unable to care for myself or Penny. We have some big things coming up that I'm going to be on my own for. I have to keep it together. Maybe that's the stressor that's launching this or maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Perhaps we'll see how tomorrow goes and go from there. Instead of wallowing, off I go to exercise even though it's the last thing I want to do. Here's hoping the endorphins and sweat will wash away the bad feelings or it's going to be an extremely long week.
Okay, I'm sure you hear a lot of random stuff from random people, but having been in a similar place, I can't help but share. Have you ever heard of taking large doses of omega 3 oils to help with mood disorders? I've been taking a double dose for over a year now and I cannot tell you how drastically it has changed my life. I mean, life ain't perfect, but it does more than any antidepressant, antipsychotic, anti anxiety meds I've ever taken, all with not a single negative side effect. K, my two cents have been expressed. Love reading your blog. :)
ReplyDeleteMorgan, you're a dear. Thank you so much for your comment. It's heartening to know that others have the same problems I have. And strangely enough, I had just been reading about omega ³ and fish oils. I'm glad it works so well for you. I will definitely give it a go.
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