'tis the season

Shopping during the holidays present a bit of a challenge for me. No, it's not the crowds or all the strange people bumping into me, although I hate that. To my mind there is only one place on EARTH where that is acceptable behavior. Disneyland. And as much as I want it to be, Wal-Mart isn't Disneyland, so stop touching me!


My problem with holiday shopping is the stuff. All the lovely stuff. On sale. Calling to me. 


I walk into a store and the first thought my brain screams at me is BUY ALL THE THINGS! The second thought is BUY MORE OF ALL THE THINGS! Thoughts three through ten are much the same. Buy all the things, while my wallet whispers don't even think about it. But my wallet is so quiet and the displays are so LOUD. Even if I'm at Home Depot. And I'm definitely not a handy person, but that doesn't matter at the holidays. The perpetual season of hope promises that if I buy the things, the talent will come. Want to tile your bathroom? Buy that circular saw that's on sale and all will be well. That decorating project you've had in the back of your mind for a year? Well NOW is exactly the time you should spend $300 on it!


It makes me wish I didn't have such a strong moral compass when it comes to stealing. Think of all the things I could have if I had a more convoluted ethical mind. And I would have a code. Oh yes. A thieving code. I'd never steal from someone I knew. Unless your name is Erin Pickett and we were in the third grade together. Then I have a confession. It was me who stole your bunny-shaped eraser.


No, I'm not sorry. It was the third grade. And it was a Bunny. Shaped. Eraser. 


Enough said. 


But back to the stuff. The other 330 days of the year I have no problem ignoring their siren call. Then comes Black Friday and suddenly things that were too far out of reach have now been price-reduced to just barely out of bounds. What's a greedy little elf to do? And it's nearly impossible to avoid a store for more than a month, especially when they are there every time I turn on the computer. So I give in. Just a little. Then maybe just a bit more. And before I know it I've eaten the entire pie. 


Figuratively speaking.


Oh well, 'tis the season. Merry Christmas everyone.