square one

Streamlining. Cutting back. Reducing. Whatever you want to call it, that's what we've been doing. It has come to our attention recently that we are spending WAY too much money on things that aren't essential. Namely, cable. Growing up we didn't have cable. My parents thought it was a waste of money, saying there were hundreds of channels and still nothing on. So no marathon showings of Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood for me. No late night Tales from the Crypt. Just your five basic stations with a few local channels thrown in. And it was fine. I survived. How can you miss what you don't know you could have? 

Except now I know what I'm missing. We decided to cancel our satellite service and do TV a different way. We now have a hard drive dedicated to uploading our favorite shows right from the internet. Free. We still get the basic networks from the help of a pair of rabbit ears. Also free. Free being the goal of all this. Yes, I can still watch the things I was before but not necessarily instantly. And it's hard to deal with that knowing at 7:30am, while I'm feeding the baby, I could be watching reruns of Card Sharks. Or Golden Girls. And sometimes Full House. Yeah, it might seem silly but I've come to rely on these shows to keep me company. Some days it's hard being the sole parent for 10 hours. But cable has always been a friend. A steady cacophony of background noise that is comforting in it's way. 

But then I think of the money we'll be saving every month and that's comforting in a different way. We've been really stretching every dollar lately, trying to get the most out of each little bit, with not much left over. That's led to stress, frustration and some bickering. And I truly hate being stressed about money. So now we'll be trying some different things. Like no cable. And changing how much Jason claims for taxes on his paycheck. The extra money each pay period will be used to pay off credit cards and then be stuck into a high yield savings account. Then if we owe anything at tax season, we can take it from the savings. Jason's also changing his life insurance policy to an independent company instead of through work. He can get more coverage for the less money. 

And that's what we're trying to do. Get more for less. And maybe, eventually, get back to square one.

11 months

things my husband says

Me: You know, I don't really believe in those potatoes.

Him: That's OK because they believe in you.

10 months

Dearest Little Girl,

Another month has passed so quickly that I feel like I blinked and it was over. I know I say it every month but you're getting so BIG. You're into everything and desperately want to do it all yourself. Like any time there's food. I'm sorry that I'm so anal retentive, and heaven knows I let you get dirty other times, but I just have the hardest time letting you throw your food all over. But I promise to work on that if you promise to work on your eye-hand coordination.

You've had a lot of firsts this month. You learned to wave, clap and stand up on your own. It's so wonderful to see your face light up when you realize you've done something new. It doesn't hurt that Daddy and I clap and cheer even when it's the 243rd time you've done it that day. We also went to the park for the first time. You thought the swings were fun but nothing could compare with all the tasty wood chips and dirt.

I can see your personality developing so quickly. You're such a fun kid to watch. Like how you won't eat a Cheerio without first biting it in half. Or how you know to clap when you've done something new. Your vocabulary is growing although you can't say all the words you understand. But you know when I'm talking about the cat or your drink and what I mean by bath.

You're growing so fast and at times it makes me heartsick, knowing that you'll never be this size again. You are the brightest part of my day even when you're being a crank. And every night before I go to bed, I tip-toe into your room to make sure you're okay then sneak out before the urge to scoop you up in a hug becomes too much.

Love,

Mama

pure cheese